Friday, September 7, 2012

When things don't go quite as planned...

So I've mentioned this before, but sometimes I just suck at shit. I started this blog because I like doing things, not because I am good at doing things.  The devil really is in the details.

I found this gorgeous gold frame at the thrift store down the street for like, a buck. I figured I'd find a place for it eventually, so I bought it. After I finished painting my table runner, I had some leftover burlap. Then, lightbulb style, I was like "Man, it would be cool if I framed this burlap! And painted a map on it! And made it into a cork board style tracking where I want to go!"

I started cutting out a template I from a blank world map I printed out. But that got tedious, so I was like, fuck it, I'll freehand it. Then I started using a marker, which was not taking well to the burlap. So I switched to acrylic paint, which still didn't take that well but at least it was going faster. 

With all these shortcuts, how on earth could it have turned out poorly? Well on top of all that, burlap doesn't frame well, it bunches up, no matter how much you tape it down. 

Okay, I'll show you a picture. I apologize in advance to every country I heinously butchered.


I'm sorry Canada for kind of just making you a stretched out part of America. I'm sorry Mexico for making you look less like a country and more like a Bugle I smashed onto Texas. I'm sorry South America for making you look like that last pancake you try to make from scraping the end of the batter. I'm sorry to practically every island on the planet for omitting you because you were too hard to paint. I'm sorry Australia for making you look like a warthog. Russia, where do I begin.

"That black patchy blob looks just like Eurasia!" said no one, ever.

And yet I still stuck pins in for "Where We've Lived" and "Where We Want to Go" and hung it on the wall for a picture. I have no standards.  But really, these lumpy sacks of potatoes will be, well, sacked, and something more deserving will go into that lovely frame.

If you want to make me feel a little better, you can tell me about times you've really fucked up a project. Or just kind of fucked up a project, I'll take either. Or just mock me, because at this point, that's all there is really left to do.

17 comments:

  1. the idea was cool... maybe a finer material next time?

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    1. haha tbh i think my pride is a little too damaged to try it again. the appeal was that i had all the materials, so effortless! so free! so incredibly shitty. haha maybe when my ego has recovered, i'll give it another go.

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  2. One time. I tried to make a shirt out of this really cute fabric I bought.
    Printed a pattern and everything & it was a really simple one to boot :P
    I thought i cut it out perfect & then tried to sew it.. I thought I was doing pretty well then I realized I made it WAY too small and the right shoulder was like 4 inches lower than the left.

    I hid the evidence...never took photos :(
    There's always a chance for a take 2 :)

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    Replies
    1. ha! i am so glad this happens to someone else! and man, if you think my painting disaster was bad, you should see some of my sewing disasters. AND YET I STILL WORE SOME OF THEM IN PUBLIC. maybe I was encouraged too much as a child...

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  3. It's really not that bad. I agree with the first post, the fabric needed to be a highter thread count. See, it wasn't your fault at all!

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  4. This is hilarious. And America looks like boobs. But hey, all of your other beautiful projects totally make up for this one, they can't all be winners!
    - Jana

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  5. It's not horrrrrible.
    It might help if you make a stencil and do it on some linen?

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  6. Thank you for being real, you almost never get to see the messes and the projects that don't turn out quite right. I tried to use one of those snazzy pinterest tutorials to cut glass last night, and while I did almost manage to burn my house down, I didn't even come close to cutting anything. Very lame.

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  7. Hahaha I'm cracking up. Is the pin in Australia for anywhere in particular or just Australia in general?

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    1. hahah i cant even tell if that was supposed to be sydney or brisbane

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  8. As a child in school my painting "style" included trying to paint something, realizing it looked nothing like it did in my head, then covering the canvas in a solid color and painting over it as if I did it all on purpose. And repeat. Eventually I'd give up and throw some shapes on there and call it abstract art.

    The sad thing is, this is still my painting style today. And I'm 28.

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  9. This post had me laughing so hard! I couldn't think of any posts this week because all of my planned projects were TERRIBLE! (Yes, I posted one anyway so everyone can judge me.)
    I wish to virtually toss you a drink and say "cheers to better luck next week".

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  10. Haha, I'm enjoying the part where there is hardly any Italy. Changed it from a boot to booties?

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  11. HAHAHA!! This is hilarious! I am dying laughing. I like how the top part of Canada kinda looks like a unicorn. Thanks for the laugh :)

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  12. I just wanted to tell you how refreshing it is to see someone blogging in full honesty. So many DIY blogs make it look so easy and I feel stupid when I can't get it right! I love seeing not only your good projects but the ones that didn't come out exactly as planned.

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  13. I think the burlap could still work if maybe you embroidered the map on rather than painting it, good effort though! Glad to see other work

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  14. Oh. My god. Hilarious! You are hilarious. I love this post and I love that you use all those bad words, cuz it makes me feel better about doing it in my own blog :)
    That being said....you've inspired me to start documenting my own failures instead of deleting the photos from the folder, then the hard drive, then wiping the hard drive.

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