Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Guns don't kill plants, people do - Make Your Own Terrarium



I totally get why people like terrariums. They are pretty, they let you try your hand at green thumbin', they bring fresh greenery into your home and all the clean air, chlorophyll-y benefits that come with that.

The thing is, I don't really care about that. I'm a smoker, so air quality is obviously not my highest concern. Plus, I'm a master at killing plants. When I bring plants home, it's pretty much the same fate as when people with pet snakes bring home mice. I just want a cute little ball of green crap to make people fake-impressed with my ability to cultivate (sham) ecosystems. 

And to have a place to put all these tiny animals I bought for fifty cents at Family Thrift:

I will give a special prize to anyone who knows what the fuck that grey thing with the weird eyes and bloody chest is...

Turns out, buying all the stuff to make a fake terrarium is way cheap, like $5. I already had the vase because I have a nice boss who sends me flowers. For the dirt, I used a spoon to dig out some from my front yard, all while hoping and praying that my downstairs neighbors didn't happen to step outside and wonder what the fuck I was doing.




Anyways, you just layer it up like a taco dip and added some animals. Voila, you now have something to put into your apartment to trick visitors into thinking you are a much more responsible and capable adult than you actually are.




7 comments:

  1. animals! too cute. i made one of these a few months ago and now it is dead and on a shelf in my closet. but back in the day it was pretty! : http://ido-nicethings.blogspot.com/2011/09/terrarium.html

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    Replies
    1. that turned out amazing! almost makes me want to make a live one :) i love that container!

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    2. LOL SAME. I had a cute fern and a cute fawn in it and everything but unfortunately, the fern needed water. OOPS.

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  2. why is the goat covered in blood?

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    Replies
    1. i have a feeling it was at the hand of that super-ripped, blood-crazed creature thats hanging out underneath the goat.

      look, theres a reason that bag of animals was so cheap...

      Delete
  3. Love the title! I think the grey thing is some Japanese horror film character. But, I'm no expert. Don't quote me on that!

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  4. Glitter the animals for the holidays :)

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